Previously unpublished, 13 Dec 2009 - slightly edited:
Star bright
My little Star, I found you twinkling one day upon a web site, bright and beautiful you were. As time went by and I saw you again and again, your spirit shining through your smile stroked the strings of my heart until one day it seemed right for us to reach for you.
On that day, I asked mama if we could adopt you and she said yes. At that moment I became your very happy baba, knowing that from that point I would do all in my power to bring you home as soon as we could to live with your sister Tian and brother Yu-Hsuan, and with us, mama and baba.
.....You were the answer to the gentle tugging on my heart.....the angels were watching over you until I could find you and I thank them for doing so.
You are my shining Star.
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We long to welcome you to our home, beyond the sea,
We hope to be a family of five you see.
We dream the very best for you.
........
4 Feb 2010
The Wait
Can you imagine?
I can not.
The Wait.
We decide to adopt a child.
We fill out scads of paperwork.
We send out various amounts of money in many directions.
Time passes and we wait for the milestone that comes next.
As time passes and passes and passes we become restless, thinking will this ever end?
Then one day, like spring after a long, cold winter, a ray of hope shines through the darkness. Word comes that it is now time to travel, time to bring our child home.
HOME
This is a parent's wait for a child to come and be with us forever, seen through our eyes.
But what of the child waiting on some distant shore?
A child comes to an orphanage by several circumstances though most found by the police or some other responsible person. If the child is old enough to remember, memory of the circumstance that brought them hence is ever fresh in their minds.
If a child is fortunate, others will comfort.
4 Feb 2010
"Happy Birthday sweetheart. I'd travel the world to find you again. Soon to be the mama of a son, you've been a great one for Tian."
Tonight we visited the same restaurant we did three years ago. On that night I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said - 'You know what I really want?' and for once I did. She wanted to adopt a girl from China. So on that night I gave her that wish as my change began from reluctant husband to prospective father.
Never would I have believed, even then, that we would be where we are today. As of this evening not only have we had our daughter, Tian, now 10, home nearly 23 months, but we are 3 weeks away from our son, Yu-Hsuan, 8 and on the verge of the home study being done for our second daughter, Star, 9.
Not only was it a happy birthday for my wife today, but a day full of the memories of just how far we've come in so short a time:
2007 was paper chase and learning the art of waiting.
2008 was Gotcha day and the wonders of China plus our daughter and her former roommate, adopted out 15 months prior seeing each other again and opening lines of communication.
2009 was finding a sibling, a brother, Yu-Hsuan for Tian and a new paper chase for him. It was a year of another former roommate finding us, whom we were privileged to meet in China, on Gotcha day, adopted out 7 months after Tian. It was also the year baba's heart was tenderized, the beginning of blogs, joining various Yahoo adoption lists, meeting so many wonderful parents the world over, beginning a Facebook presence, being challenged by a friend we met in China, learning more patience. It was a year of education, asking questions, learning about a whole host of special needs and finding out that they were not scary, if one understood that a SN child is as loved as a NSN child in the eyes of God. It was a year called again in mid-July to adopt again at which point the tugging stopped. Seeking, finding, losing, heartbroken, finding and joy to burst the seams all rolled into one experience of intense emotions culminating with finding a sister for Tian, in Star, our third child, our third SN / WC.
2010 is well underway and while I know of two events I trust will occur in this calendar year, I know other events, yet unknown await us. 20 days from now, we'll have our son in our arms. 30 days from now we'll be on the verge of being home with him. Some time later this year, we trust that Star will join us as well. While 2010 is a year of new beginnings for us, it is also a year of endings - Tian loses only child status, my parents leave their home of 38 years to move to a facility where they can receive care, the generations are changing.
Yet through all these changes I am thankful, for I can say for sure that I have been blessed beyond my hopes and dreams by my wife, my child and children to be and folks like you.
19 Apr 2010
Love is a Choice
Many years ago, my wife told me that Love is not an emotion. It is a choice. There are emotional side effects.
Thus I choose to love a child I have not met, who I 'know' only through a few photos and videos, asked my wife if we could adopt. I chose to love this child whom others did not, would not. I chose to love this girl, who like me, is not perfect in physical attributes, whom others for their own reasons could not or would not accept.
I know that as the years roll on, my love for her will change, as I get to know her in physical presence but I will always love her.
The same was true when I dated my wife to be. I chose to love her and while the feelings have changed over the years, the choice still remains. My feelings towards my wife have changed midst the adoption process as I have seen a woman transform into a mother before my very eyes, to a new role.
In the midst of the adoption of our son my love for both my daughter and wife grew even deeper last May as it was pointed out how precious they are to me.
Thus I choose to love a child I have not met, who I 'know' only through a few photos and videos, asked my wife if we could adopt. I chose to love this child whom others did not, would not. I chose to love this girl, who like me, is not perfect in physical attributes, whom others for their own reasons could not or would not accept.
I know that as the years roll on, my love for her will change, as I get to know her in physical presence but I will always love her.
The same was true when I dated my wife to be. I chose to love her and while the feelings have changed over the years, the choice still remains. My feelings towards my wife have changed midst the adoption process as I have seen a woman transform into a mother before my very eyes, to a new role.
In the midst of the adoption of our son my love for both my daughter and wife grew even deeper last May as it was pointed out how precious they are to me.
Last fall we went for a little boy only to have him matched with another family. He is home now, across the ocean and though he has a family and I wish him well, he will always have a piece of my heart.
If you wish to color me a sentimental old fool, feel free.
5 May 2010
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